Self Esteem & Confidence

Courage, Confidence, self-confidence and self-esteem – are they linked?

This discussion took place a couple of years ago at TEEN FLASH... these are the young people’s views and conclusions.

Courage is the ability to do something that frightens you (either a lot or a bit). It takes guts, bravery.

The group concluded that they got more confident when they practiced doing something. They said the more they did a thing the more comfortable they were felt doing it ie: reading out loud, practising a difficult dance routine .

Confidence comes from a Latin word fidere’ which means ‘to trust’. Therefore, to have self-confidence you have to trust yourself...

The group said that you can have a determination to succeed, and that can build confidence.

They also said that you can feel confident and gain confidence being with other people who are confident.

Self-confidence is a positive belief that we can do a particular activity.

It’s how you feel about yourself. Our self-confidence increases the more we practice that particular activity! You have to have a bit of positive thinking to tackle activities or tasks you have yet to master, and we base our self-belief on what we have accomplished before!

They decided that you can have confidence in what you DO not necessarily in who you ARE. So, the odd thing is that you can have self confidence in yourself when you are dancing, sailing or singing because you have practiced that skill but have less self confidence in other situations.

So how does this impact on our self-esteem?

Self Esteem. Another Latin word, esteem means to estimate, so how much self esteem you have depends on how much you ‘estimate’ yourself in any given situation.

We tend to estimate ourselves against others we admire or respect and this can leave us feeling less good than we really are!

The group recognised that your self-esteem can move. That’s true, you can have better self esteem in one area of your life than in another. Maybe because you have more self confidence in that area e.g.; dance, cheer, sailing etc

So self-esteem is how you think about yourself. You can achieve something and feel proud of yourself but still think that you’re not good enough.

So, ask yourself who are you comparing yourself or your achievements to?

Be kind to yourselves, remember your brain is switched one 24/7 and hears everything that you say to yourself. Would you say such harsh things to a friend?

Idea’s (from the group) that can boost our self-confidence or mood

• Being with nature
• Exercise
• Walking
• Getting enough sleep
• Respect yourself
• Take time out for yourself
• Surround ourselves with positive people
• Block our negative thoughts or avoid negative people
• Think positively
• Focus on the things that you feel comfortable with
• Spend time with family or friends
• Listen to music
• Tell ourselves good things about yourself
• Wearing a favourite piece of clothing
• Wear things that make you feel good
• Piercings
• Being with pets
• Wearing my red lippy
• Eating healthily
• Doing my hair to match my outfit
• Playing the drums
• Cheerleading
• Singing
• Being with girlfriend/boyfriend
• Cutting yourself some slack 😊
• Being by the beach
• Dancing
• Taking time to be in the moment when you are enjoying something
• Take a social media detox
• Take care of yourself: have a bath or do your hair
• Teaching others something you love
• Trust yourself
• Be kind to yourself: accept who you are. People go through the same things you are; you don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed.
• Knowing I’m a good listener
• Knowing I’m patient
• Being proud of my achievements
• Do an activity you enjoy
• Treat other as you wish to be treated
• Focus on the positives (think TIGGER not EEYORE)
• Doing something you find rewarding ……
• Knowing that I am good at: art, baking, skateboarding, looking after animals, I am a good listener, cheer, sailing, make up